Saturday, June 23, 2012

i understand


I was getting my son ready for bed last night.  No matter what I asked him to do, his response was a resounding, "NO!"  I was completely out of energy.  I could have forced him into time out or exercised other forms of discipline.  Honestly, I just didn't feel like it.  It was late and I was tired. 

Instead, I got up and went to sit in the bathroom.  Alone in the quiet.  This reaction was unrecognizable to JP.  It was not long before I heard the little pitter-patter of his feet in the hallway.  "Mommy, are you in here?"  His voice was barely above a whisper.  "Yes son, I am."  I responded equally as quiet.  "Mommy, I am very sorry for not doing what I am supposed to do.  I don't know why I don't listen.  I try, but I end up making bad choices." 

After feeling a little tug from the Holy Spirit, my only response was, "I understand."

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.    And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.    As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.    For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.   For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.    Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."  Romans 7:15-24

I guess I am more like my five year old than I realize.


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